I don't know who you are, or where you are,
I really don't know why it would even matter.
I'm your 9-year-old daughter and you are my dad
But you've never been much of the latter.
I questioned what was wrong with me, that you aren't a little curious
But the more I doubted myself the more I just became furious.
I did things to make you proud so one day you'd come and find me
A Straight A student, very athletic,
and I've even been on TV.
Maybe if you had hung around my mom would have too.
But whatever her downfalls are I blame them all on you.
Fathers walk around having to tell everyone that they are in charge
Trying to puff up their chest and trying to look large.
I actually hope to never meet you, what an embarrassment you will be
For everyone see the low life, low down, bum that deserted me.
You see, I now know, it's not at all my fault and I'm doing well.
My Grandma says and I agree that you can go to hell.
PS. I've always had a man in my life that hugs me and dried my tears.
He chases away imaginary spiders, snakes and all my other fears.
So, when you see me on TV accepting some science prize or other.
Please do what you always have. Just don't bother.
Gabriel McCrea received an Honorable Mention cash award for this submission in the Discovering Me...Without You Personal Essay Contest. Hers was a special recognition.